Self-Care – Stay Golden Mama

How to balance pursuing your passions and motherhood

October 1, 2018 No Comments

I have a confession: I recently took 2 weeks off of blogging. I felt like I had so much to do that I just could not sit down and devote my whole hearted attention to my blog. I’ll be honest, I felt super guilty and crappy about it. My blog is still new and I do not have many people reading it, so it wasn’t like people were knocking down my door to get new content. But I knew that I was not pursuing my dreams and I felt like I was letting myself down. My biggest dream and goal is to monetize this blogging & YouTube thing and I have been feeling pretty discouraged recently.

I wanted to get back to it and share some tips on how to find the time, patience and energy to devote to my passions and creating new content as a working mom.

#1 – Remember WHY you started!

When I first started bogging 7 months ago, I was so excited to start my journey and share my content. As time went on and things were very slow to progress, I got discouraged. To be honest, I am still not where I want to be, but I am not giving up! It is important to remember that giddy feeling about when you first got started and WHY you want to continue. For me, I started because I needed a creative outlet and a way to document the changes that I was making in my life. Blogging keeps me accountable because it forces me to record aspects of my life and be more creative with my hair, makeup and lifestyle. I also started because I eventually would like to earn a significant income from my blog and have more money to travel and put towards our upcoming wedding!

#2 – Communicate your goals with your support system

I think this is SUPER important! In order to pursue your passion, you first need to let people know what excites you. Whether it is your mom, husband, sister, BFF or work wife – tell them about what makes you tick and how you plan on taking over the world! You are more likely to achieve your goals if you actually write them down, and even more so if you have someone else holding you accountable. Also, if you are in a relationship and you want to spend more time on your passion, then it can be helpful to talk to your significant other about your plans.

#3 – Create realistic goals

In order to pursue your passions without getting burnt out, it is important to be realistic about your goals. Do you want to make money from your passion, or do you just want to feel more fulfilled in life? Create goals that fall in line with what you want to achieve and do your best to stick to them. Life happens, so be sure to factor in holidays, busy season at work and kids activities. The worst feeling is setting unattainable goals and missing them because you put too many things on your plate. Being a mom is a huge job, so don’t put too much on yourself. You got this, mama!

#4 – Maximize your weekends and time off

Weekends and nights are your best friend. I repeat, weekends and nights are your best friend! Make the most out of your time by planning out your day and finding pockets of time to work on your content or hobby. I like to use my daughter’s nap time to write my blog posts and then night time for editing my YouTube videos. I also take a day or two off per month to reset and create more content. This is definitely a luxury that most people do not have, but I am fortunate to have a lot of vacation time and very few vacation plans. Ask your significant other to take the kids to the park, so you can keep that passion alive!

#5 – Get enough sleep

Ok ok, I am still struggling with this one. I KNOW that I need 7 hours of sleep at night to be a functioning adult. Do I really get 7 hours every night? No, ma’am, I do not. I know I would be unstoppable if I went to bed a t 10pm every night and woke up at 5. I am going to use October as a month to steadily get up earlier and earlier until I get to my goal of 5:30am. I have noticed that I am so much more balanced and energetic when I get enough sleep and I am properly hydrated. To give the most of myself to my family and my passion, I have to get enough sleep! If I don’t, then I feel like I am playing catch-up for the rest of the week.

#6 – Give yourself some slack

This is important, y’all. Be easy on yourself! If you have had a whirlwind week and everything is going on, give yourself some grace and breathe. If that means that dinner is a frozen pizza and that little Susie’s laundry is not perfectly ironed before school, you will survive. I always tell my fellow mom friends to stop being so hard on themselves! Parenting is hard. Let’s not make it harder by being too critical on ourselves. With hard work and dedication, we can follow our passions and move closer towards happiness.

Don’t give up, no matter what! If you want to pursue your passions, then you need an ironclad will and a plan to get there. If it doesn’t happen overnight, that is fine! Don’t compare yourself to others and follow your joy, just for you! Keep your energy high and remember that the end goal is be more fulfilled in life.

Thank you so much for stopping by! Can you tell me some tips that you have for following your passions?

xo,

Simone

Mommy Mondays, Motherhood, Self-Care

Mommy Monday: Making Alone Time A Priority

September 4, 2018 No Comments

Photo credit: Emanja Alleyne (http://www.emanjaalleyne.com/)

Since starting this blog, I wanted to use it as a platform to connect and share my experiences as a mom. I had the idea of creating a regular diary series called Mommy Mondays to discuss all the ups and downs of parenthood. I eventually want to make this a series on YouTube as well! I have not been as consistent as I would like in this arena, but I am ready to make this a weekly thing!

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s dive into this week’s topic: alone time!

Ahhh, the touchy topic of alone time. When we get it, we feel guilty that we are without our kids. When we desperately need it, we feel bad for asking for a few hours to ourselves. It is exhausting!

This weekend, my partner was away on a trip with his guy friends and I got 3 nights of alone time. At first, I was a little overwhelmed that I would be taking on the brunt of the childcare duties with no help. Then I realized that I got 3 nights of solo time! While I love my fiancé dearly, it was nice to get a few nights to myself to watch sappy teen dramas – tell me that you have seen “To All The Boys I’ve Loved”! As I was reflecting during my nights alone, I came up with a few reasons why alone is a huge part of my mom self-care routine.

It brings reflection

I love being alone because it forces me to figure out my next move and also to just enjoy the moment. I cherish the quiet moments where I am not wiping a poopy booty or chasing my toddler in the grass. Being a mom gives me sooo much joy and purpose, but I still have dreams and goals that need focus and attention. I always feel so much more centered and focused after spending a few hours by myself.

Recharges my energy

In the same of reflection, I also crave alone time because it recharges my energy when my batteries are low. I feel currents of energy and when mine is low, I feel it in every aspect of my life. For me, low energy is usually tied to being overworked, too many social commitments and my house being filthy. When I spend time alone to regroup, then I start to feel my energy return and have the motivation to tackle life. It feels like a video game where I am finding extra lives.

Lets me be ME

Lets be honest, being a mom and partner can take a lot of energy. There is a lot of sacrifice and compromise that comes with these roles.

I found being alone is the best way for me to just be myself without any pressure or obligation to act a certain way. Social situations can be very draining because I am 50% introvert and I can’t be “on” for too long without burning out. I feel like I can be my truest self after a solo afternoon or night off without plans.

Makes me be a better mom

I truly believe that in order to be the best mom possible, I need balance in my life. A huge part of that balance is spending time alone and creating an environment of reflection and quiet. I get overwhelmed very easily and I find myself craving moments to myself. I find that I am more attentive and appreciative of the ups and downs of motherhood after I have spent some solo time.

Remember that “self-care is not selfish”. Say it again, for the people in the back! Taking time for yourself does not make you a bad mom or a bad person. In fact, it does the opposite. It helps you keep in touch with your body, mind and spirit by giving yourself time to breathe. Whether alone time is watching bad reality TV (I am looking at you, RHOA), going to your favorite coffee shop, meditating or hitting the gym. I urge you to push the mom-guilt

I also think in order to be the

Nights alone, kid-free afternoons

Reflection is self-care

Recharging precious energy to be the best mom that you can be.

Alone time is crucial for all people, but especially moms. I know there will be a

Self-Care, Uncategorized

10 Cheap or Free Ways To Practice Self-Care

June 7, 2018 No Comments

Self-care is a trending topic these days. Sometimes it means getting a massage at a fancy spa or maxing out your credit card at Nordstroms. Just kidding, please don’t do that! Not everyone has thousands of dollars to spend on pricey spa treatments or expensive lunch with your main squad.

As a budget-conscious mom, I love to pamper and spoil myself. The only difference is that I don’t spend hundreds of dollars to take care of myself. It can be as simple as ~~hiding~~ setting at timer for 30 minutes to catch up on my magazines or getting my mom to watch my daughter, so I can sleep in and catch up on my YouTube videos. Self-care can also be taking the night off of “momming” and having a girls night in with a bottle of good ol’ Malbec.

In the spirit of being a budget-friendly blog, I wanted to share my favorite free/cheap ways that you can get a little you-time and reconnect with the fabulous woman inside!

Meditation App – Wake up 30 minutes early (I know, I know – it’s tough!). Download a meditation app (Headspace is one of my favorites). Follow the guided meditation and try to let everything go and reconnect with some inner peace. Don’t let the clutter in your mind prevent your happiness!
Schedule 30-60 minutes alone to indulge in guilty pleasure – Okay this one can be difficult, especially if you are a single parent or student! Grab your fave magazine (I am currently loving Health Magazine and Good Housekeeping) or indulge in your favorite trash TV (ummm, Vanderpump Rules anyone!?) and just veg the heck out for a little stretch. Trust me, your body and mind will thank you.
Read a great book – OverDrive App – I love to read. Gimme a nice juicy biography or a spiritual awakening guide, or even a medieval fantasy. I will devour that sucker. One of my favorite cheapie ways to have fun is to find a book on my OverDrive library app and spend an hour or two reading. The OverDrive App connects with your local library and you can check out books for 21 days per book! I read every weekday while bussing to work and I cherish that alone time SO MUCH. It really recharges my soul.
Sheet mask and glass of wine – Never underestimate the power of a sheet mask y’all! Clean your room and apply that sheet mask, then pretend like your life is together. It works, I tell ya. Top it off with a glass of wine and you have a perfect night in.
Binge Watch Some YT or Trash Television – Never ever underestimate the power of a good Real Housewives of Atlanta binge with a side of ~~cheese puffs~~ organic kale chips. While I don’t suggest completely numbing your mind for a whole day, sometimes an hour of a guilty pleasure can really be exactly what you need.
Take a walk or do a 20 minute HIIT workout – I am addicted to the Pop Sugar Fitness app and I love the way they make it easy to find simple and energizing HIIT workouts.
Stop complaining for a week – On the real tip, I did this for a week and it changed the way I look at both negative self-talk and my outlook on life. I found myself monitor some super negative comments that really were not healthy. It made me so much more self-aware of the toxic thoughts that can sometimes put you in a nasty place and to be more positive and grateful.
Gratitude Log – Well since was are talking about being grateful, it can be refreshing to start writing down the things you are thankful for – especially if you are feeling warn down or overwhelmed with life.
Paint your nails – I mean if you got some coins, then you can even have someone else them for you. You get the best of both worlds, some time away from your kids and pretty new nails. But if you are a ~~peasant~~ budget-gal like me, you use a fancy UV gel lamp so you can save that money!
Schedule a massage (with a groupon) – So my ULTIMATE indulgence for self-care is a deep-swedish-thai-strong-hands massage. Aka I pay someone and they attack the knots in my back for 90 minutes. A professional massage will change your LIFE. TRUST.

I hope these 10 free/low cost ways to practice self-care help you recharge and feel just a tiny bit happier.

Stay golden, mamas!

xo,

Simone