Photo credit: Emanja Alleyne (http://www.emanjaalleyne.com/)
Since starting this blog, I wanted to use it as a platform to connect and share my experiences as a mom. I had the idea of creating a regular diary series called Mommy Mondays to discuss all the ups and downs of parenthood. I eventually want to make this a series on YouTube as well! I have not been as consistent as I would like in this arena, but I am ready to make this a weekly thing!
Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s dive into this week’s topic: alone time!
Ahhh, the touchy topic of alone time. When we get it, we feel guilty that we are without our kids. When we desperately need it, we feel bad for asking for a few hours to ourselves. It is exhausting!
This weekend, my partner was away on a trip with his guy friends and I got 3 nights of alone time. At first, I was a little overwhelmed that I would be taking on the brunt of the childcare duties with no help. Then I realized that I got 3 nights of solo time! While I love my fiancé dearly, it was nice to get a few nights to myself to watch sappy teen dramas – tell me that you have seen “To All The Boys I’ve Loved”! As I was reflecting during my nights alone, I came up with a few reasons why alone is a huge part of my mom self-care routine.
It brings reflection
I love being alone because it forces me to figure out my next move and also to just enjoy the moment. I cherish the quiet moments where I am not wiping a poopy booty or chasing my toddler in the grass. Being a mom gives me sooo much joy and purpose, but I still have dreams and goals that need focus and attention. I always feel so much more centered and focused after spending a few hours by myself.
Recharges my energy
In the same of reflection, I also crave alone time because it recharges my energy when my batteries are low. I feel currents of energy and when mine is low, I feel it in every aspect of my life. For me, low energy is usually tied to being overworked, too many social commitments and my house being filthy. When I spend time alone to regroup, then I start to feel my energy return and have the motivation to tackle life. It feels like a video game where I am finding extra lives.
Lets me be ME
Lets be honest, being a mom and partner can take a lot of energy. There is a lot of sacrifice and compromise that comes with these roles.
I found being alone is the best way for me to just be myself without any pressure or obligation to act a certain way. Social situations can be very draining because I am 50% introvert and I can’t be “on” for too long without burning out. I feel like I can be my truest self after a solo afternoon or night off without plans.
Makes me be a better mom
I truly believe that in order to be the best mom possible, I need balance in my life. A huge part of that balance is spending time alone and creating an environment of reflection and quiet. I get overwhelmed very easily and I find myself craving moments to myself. I find that I am more attentive and appreciative of the ups and downs of motherhood after I have spent some solo time.
Remember that “self-care is not selfish”. Say it again, for the people in the back! Taking time for yourself does not make you a bad mom or a bad person. In fact, it does the opposite. It helps you keep in touch with your body, mind and spirit by giving yourself time to breathe. Whether alone time is watching bad reality TV (I am looking at you, RHOA), going to your favorite coffee shop, meditating or hitting the gym. I urge you to push the mom-guilt
I also think in order to be the
Nights alone, kid-free afternoons
Reflection is self-care
Recharging precious energy to be the best mom that you can be.
Alone time is crucial for all people, but especially moms. I know there will be a
